In My Head

Guess my last post didn't get through, but it's all right now.

Met Kley, took pics. *_*

After the rendezvous, I got home and we went to McD's. And then I came home and slept. Earlier today when I tried to turn my computer on, it wouldn't load Windows and kept rebooting - naturally, a virus. In essence, I was supposed to lose all my files I hadn't saved, all programs, everything. I didn't have my System Recovery CDs with me, why would I carry them around? (I know now >_>) We actually considered buying a new hard drive or even a new laptop, and the Best Buy service center said that the System Recovery CD was the only thing I could use.

So how am I here? Easy. We recovered everything and deleted the corrupted files without losing anything important. Will I share how? No. >D

And to all who contributed in trying to get to my laptop...BOOYAKASHAKALAKA.

I decided to check out when I have my next blog anniversary (Sept 22nd!), and made the mistake of reading posts past. I was SO the little high schooler. I'm cringing at some of this stuff. Who am I kidding, most of this stuff. -_- I don't even remember some of this. Scaring Ferret with emoticons? Is that possible?

I need a paper sack for my head.

Twim:
I have some Indian snacks to sustain me the week, the Indian fast food place in the mall is downstairs, I've been reading fanfics (Sweet Teeth, anyone?), and I have tons of music to listen to. Not to mention smashits.com is still alive *_*

Setting: 7:15, in front of the bus stop at the law school and music building
And to clear up what I just said earlier, here's an explanation, IM-style.

legato e dolce: I met a HOT law student today
legato e dolce: I mean, I wanted to eat him right then and there on the bus.
ihaveaqtsn: mmmm
legato e dolce: And he wants to be friends with me
ihaveaqtsn: *.*
legato e dolce: because he's from CA and doesn't know his way around here
legato e dolce: >D
ihaveaqtsn: OoOO
ihaveaqtsn: where do i get one
ihaveaqtsn: *.*
legato e dolce: Come down to visit the 1st year grad students here
legato e dolce: you'll find one XD
ihaveaqtsn: lol
ihaveaqtsn: mmm
legato e dolce: I mean, WOW
legato e dolce: the luck!
ihaveaqtsn: lol
legato e dolce: I was talking naturally to these three people
legato e dolce: and I just met them at the bus stop
legato e dolce: and I realized they were grad students _-_
ihaveaqtsn: kita all SOCIAL LIKE?
ihaveaqtsn: lol
legato e dolce: and I was giving them directions
legato e dolce: hey now!
legato e dolce: I'm really bad about talking to random people in person
legato e dolce: sometimes I just clam up
legato e dolce: -.-;
legato e dolce: my inner geek gets the better of me
legato e dolce: anyway
legato e dolce: so they asked me where I was from
ihaveaqtsn: it was like that in my finance class today
legato e dolce: because they hadn't seen me at the law seminar they were at
ihaveaqtsn: till someone told me they spoke spanish and i asked them to tell me that they had a cat in their pants.
legato e dolce: (it turns out they were just meeting each other too)
legato e dolce: XD
ihaveaqtsn: oOoO
ihaveaqtsn: lol
legato e dolce: and I told them I was a sophomore here
legato e dolce: and they were like OH, no wonder! ^.^;
legato e dolce: and I was telling them where to go
legato e dolce: and what the buses were like
legato e dolce: and at one point, we had to switch buses
legato e dolce: because the one we were on was going offline
ihaveaqtsn: oh>
legato e dolce: so they were all confused
legato e dolce: and I told them that we needed to switch buses
legato e dolce: and they were like THANK YOU *.*
legato e dolce: And I was like no problem >D
ihaveaqtsn: and now you have hot law student man
legato e dolce: who was one of the three
ihaveaqtsn: i almost put lay student
ihaveaqtsn: >.>
legato e dolce: I should've, damn .
legato e dolce: oh well
legato e dolce: ok that space came from, where? O.o
legato e dolce: I'm so happy *.*
ihaveaqtsn: lol
edited because of non-relevance
legato e dolce: "hopefully we'll see you around again?"
edited because of non-relevance
ihaveaqtsn: *.*~
legato e dolce: "sure thing!"

I hope something happens, I need excitement XD

Oh. My. God.

Hot law grad student. Wants to be my friend.

I like.

I've moved in. IM me for details since I'll be on 24/7. Well, my name at least.
I think I'm the only sophomore out of the four of us, the rest are freshmen. Arrgh. @_@
And I am utterly depressed right now. It's too quiet and my family just left me about half an hour ago. I think I need to blast some fun music, eat comfort food, keep myself busy/distracted. Until classes start at least.

Like I just said to a friend...
I feel like I'm drowning in an abyss of defeaning silence because right now there isn't anything I can do.

*edit* I am the only sophomore here. *sigh*

And I need my Harry Potter fix. I need something. @_@;;;

I'm flying home this weekend to get the frills for my room - pictures, books, CDs, anything Harry Potter that I can steal from home... X_X

Sorry about last night kids. I ended up packing for Austin and never got to sign back on. Oh well. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Austin, and then I'll be
FREE afterwards.

*sigh* Too much work to do before classes actually start though. Curses. My internet connection better not be screwy.

I'm stopping the whole typing up what I eat thing. In fact, my typing will now be drastically reduced. I went to the doctor's office yesterday, and I've been told to wear splints on both arms for 4 weeks straight. After that, if the pain in my wrists does not go away, I will probably have to go for surgery. I've been having pain in my wrists for a few weeks now, just in case you were wondering. And it is taking me FOREVER to type this. x_x

I ended up staying at the lake house Monday night. We had a blast playing Uno *_* And we ate so much popcorn...honey butter *_* And that night, Tracy and I watched How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days *_* yay!

3 more days until I head back to Austin... *sigh*

Yesterday:

brunch:
2 pieces of white toast
2 boiled eggs, no yolk
1 cup tea

dinner:
1/2 dinner portion leftover fettucine alfredo
1 breadstick
2 glasses of water


Today:

lunch:
2 pieces of a grilled cheese sandwich - but I used only one piece of bread, so it's more like toasted cheese bread?
1 gulp orange juice
1 glass water


I have been up and running all day. My sister felt sick today, and I brought her lunch. About an hour after I got home (that's when I ate and got a chance to breathe/study) I received a phone call from the school. My sister had thrown up and needed to come home, so I went to get her. I called my parents, set up a doctor's appointment (that was in 40 minutes and the last one of the day) . As soon as we parked in the parking lot, my sister threw up again. Luckily outside. Mom met us at the hospital. When we were 30 seconds/1 traffic light away from home, she threw up again...this time in the car. Most of it on the carpet part, so we can take it out and clean up. She has a viral flu type thing, and in some cases it leads to viral meningitis. Which she doesn't have. But it's hightly contagious. And since I've been with her each time she threw up outside of school...I probably have something too -_- I'll most likely just go out to dinner tonight, but not spend the night at the lake house. Which is a bummer, but I need to be here tonight if my sister is still sick tomorrow. Someone needs to be at home. Oh well.

Mmmm...lemon-water *_*

Oops, totally forgot what else I did yesterday...bought manga *_*

After Olive Garden (I'm so glad I was dolled up, I got some looks >_>), we went to Books A Million to do some window shopping...and we ended up buying 6, 7 , and 8 of Marmalade Boy, 3 and 4 of Kare Kano, and 7 of Saint Tail. So happy *_* I also bought two programming books and one web book, but that's another story >_>;

It's almost time for me to head back to Austin. ;_; But I'm meeting up with my school friends tomorrow for a night out, and then we might be going to our friend's lake house for the night, depending on everyone's schedules. Can't wait to see them again *_*

brunch:
2 pieces white toast
2 boiled eggs, no yolk
2 cups of tea

dinner:
1 plate salad
2 1/2 breadsticks
1/2 dinner portion fettucine alfredo
1 glass water
1 chocolate mint

Olive Garden *_*

I need a makeover!

I've decided that I'm not giving up. I've tried too hard to let myself lose another friend to the same circumstances. I've tried too hard to stop studying now. I've tried too hard to just stop dancing. So I'm gonna try the thing that Beth is doing on her blog. (By the way, I need to update your link...done!) You know, the whole writing down what I ate thing? But I'm going to extend that to how much of a workout I did too. Maybe that will give me drive? And I'm writing down hours studied. (As in really studying, not half-study/half-distracted type stuff.) Will this cut down on my social life? Sure it will. But I think the rewards will be worth it.

I've got it all figured out. Working out makes me feel good about myself and is good for me. So why don't I do it more often? And I'm not going to lose another friend by just not talking anymore. I won't like what she's doing or what's happening, but that's her life and not mine. I should be thankful for being me and having the support from friends and family that I've got. (Thank you!) I will not give her a reason to tell me that I ditched her or turned my back on her. Now that I have more presence of mind, I can see that she might find this type of rapid change "glamorous" or the natural way to rebel. (Her parents are weird man. I mean, rude-weird. -_-) I feel that she's living an illusion, and that I might like what she's seeing. Which I don't >_> Actually, thanks twim for pointing out that she might be seeking my approval. Although I was ditched at that party, I can sort of see why she's behaving this way. She might feel that's the way she needs to go... people change. I can't say STOP CHANGING DAMMIT >:O! Things don't work that way. If she loses contact with me, then so be it. I will try to stay in touch with her. God give me strength to tolerate her actions.

Bif Naked - Leader

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Whoa, that spider must have been an act of God or something. A big ORANGE spider? Sent to shoo away my negative thoughts and concentrate on more important things?

Oh please let this be a sign, I need one. *_*

And Happy 50th wedding anniversary to my grandparents! May you have at least 50 more! ( Hey, it could happen! )

I just shooed a BIG FAT ORANGE SPIDER out of the house. It was SUPAH FAST, too. X_X;

So just yesterday I found out that the same friend had been keeping things from me. She does like him. In fact, they kissed at the party. Twice. I missed the first one by a mere few seconds. *phew* But I felt so hurt because she obviously didn't want me to know. I mean, I find him shady and rude and pretty much don't want to have anything to do with him in any way (and then I found out he and my mom had a polite conversation, one of those "so where are you going to college? are you ready?" types), but she really digs him. It's too sudden I tell you. She mocked him, and he wooed her. THIS ISN'T A FUCKING HINDI MOVIE PLOT! >:O

That reminds me, I need to get my rear into gear if I want something up.

Anyway.

And now she's talking to me about how all these people she used to mock and shy away from are IMing her and talking to her all the time and at some point I justtunedoutandeverythingbecameonebigblah. History is repeating itself. I'm losing another friend the exact same way I lost two of them years ago. Is it really just me? Do I have too much pride? Am I just not cool enough? I don't like thinking negative about myself, but it happens because I don't want to be full of myself.

Oh my fuck.

She's just IMed me with "X just asked me out!" I'm protecting the innocent but...Hell. I'll eventually reveal who they are anyway. X happens to be one of the main people she "totally disliked" and found snobby...! What is this, an alternate universe? Why is all of this happening AGAIN? (One of the ex-friends dated person X for a while before she moved...) AND WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING IN REAL-TIME? WAS ELAPSED TIME NOT ENOUGH?!?!?

She just asked me to get one of them off her back because she feels rotten, like she would be cheating on one. Please tell me this is not happening, please tell me that I can't feel the keys underneath my fingertips, please tell me that I can't feel my eyes stinging, please tell me I can't feel my head spinning round and round and round and round and round

I'm going to go listen to Bif Naked now. It fits.

So I just got back from an Indian party, 25th wedding anniversary. A friend of mine whom I'm supposed to be helping out was at said party, along with her stalker-boy/ex-friend of mine. Well, we were planning to lose this guy ASAP...but Thursday when I went to meet her, I noticed she had softened up towards him a bit. And then tonight, she pretty much ditched me. I mean, I saw her hanging all over her stalker (or is it boyfriend now?) - and she didn't even come to say hi to me. And then I found out that she had lied to me. Her sister told me that they had been talking since the middle of June at all odd hours of the night, when my friend(?) told me he had "suddenly started professing his love after two years of not talking." And only for two weeks. So here I am, telling her to drop him like a bad habit because I know his intentions are shady, and here she is telling me that she is doing all of this to boost her ego only.

Tonight she left me alone. I didn't speak to her all night, and I'm very hurt. She lied to me, did things behind my back...if she really liked him, why did she hide it? And he's told her enough times not to let me know anything (bastard, what does he think of me?) and he hates me. I mean, I got out of her that he hates me with a passion, word for word. And she avoided me all night and danced with him (far away enough to not look suspicious to her parents -_-)... I spent so much time talking to her, mocking him with her, translating some Hindi for her when she didn't get it all. What do I get? Her making secret plans to meet with him all the time once she leaves for college this year, her talking to him at all odd hours of the night and not noticing me when I get online to talk to her...

I think I've lost one of the only Indian friends near my age I had left.

And I have a massive headache, I'm going to bed. ;_;

This weekend was tax-free weekend. Naturally, I went shopping! Bought black heels, two black jackets, one khaki one, and one of those frilly looking black belt things that you tie around the waist - looks like a wrap. Spent under $50 for things that totaled to $250. YAY *_*

Neighborhood block party tonight. Get to meet new neighbors and chat with old ones. I feel like I'm a part of history in my neighborhood, since we built the first house here.

I am SO unproductive. And I go back to Austin in...17 days @_@ WTH?!?!? I have things to do *sobs*

To do list, ignore if you want to:
1)finish up to recursion in notes - deadline 8/9/03
2)finish up Flesch.java and DNA.java - deadline 8/6/03
3)set up Choir site (sheesh, taking forever) - deadline 8/26/03
4)to do #3, learn to use b2 - deadline 8/11/03
5)set up scmcci - 8/13/03
6)set up timeline and upload movie list - 8/31/03